Friday, April 16, 2010

...Indecisiveness...I think??

So Im rather indecisive today
rather indecisive these past few days
I feel I'm letting people down
I just don't feel like being out on the town
but my mood doesn't stop there
my mood happens to effect everywhere
I can seem to decide what I want to do
about him and my future him
why can't I just have everything fall in place
why can't everything be the way I want it to be
Please don't "funk" with me, I am not in the mood
Cause Im feeling rather indecisive
And I having a rather bad attitude

My true self is slowly to start to show
As I come to figure who I am
I hate to fall on my old ways
But that just might be who I am
The old me is not who I wanna be
And the new me is who I'm tryna be
Everyday is a struggle and every struggle has it rewards
So I will praise him through my indecisiveness
Because I know that God will take me far
As I sign off on this blog you read
I hope you remember destiny, compassion, and divinity

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

No Reply

Started chatting on the web
Then texting every night
Started calling on the phone
Finally everything was going just right

Conversations lasted forever
until the question came about
I thought I was feeling him
But I didn't wanna go down that route

So now there is no reply
All because of my past
I think I made the wrong decision
I should have know it wouldn't have last

What Have I Done?

What have I done?
I did what you asked, I think I did…
I help my family.
I clothe them, I feed them and I go to work
I put in hard time and dedication to make this family strong
I Give my kids what they want
And what they need.
I Support my husband through everything
Ups, downs, Good times and bad times
What have I done?

I tried talking to them,
What do you need? How was your day? Are you hungry? Can I fix you something?
Sharing my feelings to make this
Family work
But, it seems like everytime I offer MY help,
They don’t need it.
Oh, but let me try take a little ME time
They’ll call my name
Before I call theirs.
Many times, I still wonder
What have I done?

A prophet told me that you said
I was rushing you, not waiting for you, I’m not being patient.
Like I don’t have faith in you…
That I needed to wait? Oh, Wait?! because
You have sooooo many blessings for me?!
Where are they? What I have done to deserve your blessings?

So Lord is this why I can’t
Communicate with my family?
Is this why my mother and I
Can’t get along? Am I rushing you Lord?
Do I not have patience?
Tell me, Speak to me, help me, teach me, and use me.
What have I done?

What have I done?
I’ve been hanging on this ladder for
The longest time
and it seems like I just
can’t reach the top.
But, I KNOW, I know you have bigger blessings for me
What have I done?
I’ve prayed, I’ve stood on your word
Kept the faith and been patient
What have I done?
I’ve done your will and your way
That’s what I have done!!

A New Journey With Friends

The best things in life aren't FREE, that's why I am glad I have friends who make them PRICELESS. Many friends have come and gone but luckily I have had four that have stuck along for the ride. Diondra (d.lew), Cori Marie (Dallas), and Stacie (Stabs) YALL ARE THE FCKIN BEST!!! REAL TALK!!!. This weekend has shown me how much I am going to miss you girls and much we get on each others nerves lol. In the future we should always set up lunch dates to catch up on our marvelous and successful lives.

First off, Stabs, girl ever since Childrens' Choir we have been duets in music and life. Even though there were plenty of times that I couldn't stand you, you were always sweet at heart. I know you still will get on my nerves but thats just because we bump heads and minds that think alike tend to do that. I will ALWAYS choose you to be my singing partner, you have a great voice and I know that we woulde make millions singing for somebody famous, aye!!! lol. We have basically grew up together and we know alot about each other THAT SHALL NEVER LEAVE THE TBB CIRCLE LOL. Keep in touch girlie ok?!! You better call me sometime too and leave that "you knw who" alone! You are grown now!!

Corid, Cori Marie, Skittles, TBB #2 lol, you are my sister that I look up to even though I AM OLDER lol. I can't exactly remember when we became friends but honestly when I first met you, I was like you a rude little chick lol. But I have grown to know that you are not that way. You have became one of my bestest friend and I will always be here. Throughout my senior year I have tried to exceed like you and I think I have done alright. You are very bright, smart, witty, nice and caring. We have discussed so much and you have helped me as much as I helped you. I will always come to you for homework help and guy troubles, K.I.T.

Diondra aka Darrissa, I LOVE YOU SISSY!!!! OMG you are my bestestestest friend for life and after life. It has been, what? 6 years idk I'm guessing but we have grown so much together. I knew from the beginning that we were different but yet the same and that is what made us friends. To tell you the truth I am glad you are my friend because you have made me tough because you're tough. Over the years we shared so many secrets and we continue to find out more about each other each day (hint hint) lol and that is why we know each other inside and out. My bestfriend #1 and sister, you are my roll dawg, ace boon, head honcho, numero uno person I would talk to for advice and to get a laugh from.

I want you guys to call me or txt me evryday if you can so we will can keep the bond. Invite me to all your parties, events, awards or whatever even though I am a couple of states over *tear* I wish I could stay in state and hang with my tn cousins but I can't so I'm going to TN State because of that, besides I see you all all the time. I'm going to be back in the D probably. But wherever we are we have to visit or stay in contact to keep up with each other lives. We are embarking on new journeys and I know I am going to need all the support I can have besides just my family (I'm about to cry) and so you girls are not going anywhere YOU HEAR ME!!!! (WE ARE SISTERS WE STICK TOGETHER, WE MAKE UPONE BIG FAMILY...)